Everything productive, efficient, results, no cares is NOT reality – That’s Disney World!!
Author Leo Tolstoy – “True life is lived when tiny changes occur.”
Song Dream Small – I didn’t like this at first and you won’t hear this idea as part of motivational speaking. Reality is completing small dreams as part of the process of achieving a big dream.
Many big dreams are too big, make little or no progress, lead to overwhelm and fizzle out.
Dr. Dan’s Big-Slow dreams
Masters degree idea 9 years after undergrad and 2 years after that to begin Ph.D.
Ph.D. 9 years after Masters programs
7 years to complete Ph.D.
Full triathlon 20 year dream
10-yr overnight success is the ironic phrase that many successful people use to joke about the false impression outsiders have about achieving a big dream.
Big-slow dreams have a deep sense of accomplishment, earned with sweat equity, w/o regrets.
1st step – take the first step!
Measurable & achievable, time sensitive, baby steps to gain momentum & be encouraged.
2nd step – imperfect done is better than a masterpiece unfinished. “Perfection” is usually declared by others and many times posthumously.
Give a “perfect effort” (your best) that leads to an “excellent enough” result.
Masterpiece is not the objective, but if there is one, it is the result of numerous best efforts with the hope of great & done services / products.
3rd step – track progress, especially when slow.
Celebrate victories, learn from defeats.
Develop good systems & processes that are scalable.
Keep moving forward and prevent negative perceptions from polluting your thinking.
The dream of Disney World for most takes planning, saving, waiting for the right time.
This is more than likely slow, but can be fun.
Persistence is helped by positive anticipation of the reward.
Any guarantees for success? No!
Better to try, fail, and learn than wonder what could have been.
Dream big … but slowly.
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The proper attitude makes all the difference for a healthy mindset. What good comes out of a tooth extraction? An appreciation for dentistry, access to it, and being thankful for what we do have rather than focusing on the negative.
Years ago I received a scholarship from Regent University to serve with a missions’ organization in Bogota Columbia in South America. Part of that month long stay involved an outreach to be part of a dental mission team in a remote town.
The amazing thing was how happy all the children were to see the dentists. They were lined up down the street and ran to the plain wooden chairs the dentists were using to treat the kids. I was the “tooth sweeper” as I continued to be amazed at their attitude.
Never having thought about how the poor have to deal with weeks, months, maybe years of pain humbled me.
I learned to never complain about getting my teeth worked on and how being thankful really does make it hurt less! ?
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This is the 1st of a 5 part series on Core Values.
Purposefully engaged people throughout history have been rewarded. Some of the familiar ones would be the Olympians that began getting wreaths for winning in the eighth century. Academic degrees started being issued in the 13th century and the Nobel Prize began in 1901.
The aforementioned awards all required hard work. The actual items representing the award, a wreath, a sheepskin, or a plaque were not necessarily of great monetary value. What was represented, however, was great intrinsic and symbolic value.
The past couple of decades in the United States some revisionists have been placing new parameters for awards. Some examples of a diluted revision of awards are extravagant graduation parties for kindergarten or “show-up” trophies regardless of the team or individual’s performance.
A blurring of the lines between mediocrity and excellence has taken place. Encouragement is necessary and great, but cannot supplant excellence in actual performance.
Winning “the” prize requires effort and builds character especially in the many defeats along the way. Losing and failing creates a tension that doesn’t feel good. A decision has to be made to get better and try harder, with no guarantees, or choose an alternative form of giving up by just showing up.
Stanford Psychology Professor Carol Dweck is known for her work regarding fixed and growth mindsets. A fixed mindset translates failure as a lack of ability and little hope for improvement. A growth mindset considers failure as apart of learning and a chance to experiment.
Purposeful engagement then becomes steady progress trying new methods while putting forth a sincere effort and implementing both learning and performance goals. A performance goal is losing 20 pounds and quantifiable. A learning goal might be trying different foods that bring a lifestyle change. Eating the same quantity as before, but losing weight because of healthier foods with less calories.
Another example is a younger basketball player shoots with a style that requires a lot of motion that compensates for underdeveloped muscles. As the competition gets more intense the old way of shooting must be improved to compete.
The learning process for the new style of shooting has the drawback at first of shooting less effectively than the old style. As time passes with focused effort, using the new method not only surpasses the old, but far exceeds the previous shooting percentage.
A growth mindset accompanied by concerted effort implementing learning goals equals purposeful engagement and the attainment of projected performance goals. The biggest shift from a fixed to growth mindset is overcoming the idea that failure is a bad thing instead of a key component of learning.
Defeat ends when we launch into another battle (Paulo Coelho).
Maybe a shift of wording exchanging defeat in place of failure helps. As in the above quote, defeats are part of a major battle. Casualties happen, things are destroyed, but the overall battle being won is the objective.
Pursue multiple paths to achieve desirable outcomes with a growth mindset. Have fun failing and learning. Determine which learning goals can result in achieving worthy performance goals.
Give the greatest effort with the best methodology and be purposefully engaged. Don’t ever give up pursuing your dreams!
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Five Steps to Determine When and How You Begin Change is the final part of the Be Smart Series.
Going about daily life there are seasons. Some of them are good, and some bad.
Regardless of how things are, whether good or bad, not having the proper mindset can result in a couple of dysfunctional perspectives.
One perspective is complaining when things are going bad. Nothing is accomplished other than keeping the focus on playing the role of victim.
When the opposite occurs and things are going well, overlooking that life is good and failing to be appreciative robs people of long-term joy. In addition, appreciating the good builds an energetic resistance to letting bad times overshadow any positives.
Whatever the season or change that comes, the mindset is what determines how difficult that transition is.
Because of change, things can be exciting or scary or both! The choice to be made is to look at this as an opportunity and not a threat. Change is inevitable, growth is optional.
A baby’s first steps are hard with a lot of failures. As the baby matures each new phase of mobility – walking to skipping to running – raises expectations. Plenty of defeats occur in the process, but with persistence steady progress is made.
Going from middle school to high school is an exciting step for some. Others are bullied and intimidated by upper class guys and girls and hate the transition.
College is a huge step for independence and a wonderful experience leading to adulthood. However, included in that experience is overcoming things such as bad roommates, hard professors, and very difficult classes.
The first real job a new graduate gets can include feelings of being stupid and isolated for weeks or even months.
Changes at all stages of life make things uncomfortable. The decision to lean into rather than avoid change is a choice.
The choosing is based on a thought out action ahead of time rather than on feelings at that moment.
An appropriate label for negative feelings such as procrastination, analysis paralysis, negative self-talk, etc. is “bad guys.”
One of the most popular speakers in the world is a lady named Mel Robbins. She wrote a book called The 5 Second Rule to deal with the bad guys. The process is a simple 5 second countdown like a rocket launching.
Research supports Mel’s concept that initiates action rather than thinking or feeling. The 5 Second Rule is very effective at dealing with those little things that hold us back from taking action or getting started.
Forming a habit, like using The 5 Second Rule consistently, needs to be intentional especially at first and not based on a feeling.
Failed new year resolutions of literally millions of people is proof. Most people are sincerely trying to change their behavioral patterns, but fail. The good thing is, something as simple as The 5 Second Rule might really help a lot of these people accomplish those resolutions.
The 5 Second Rule is a great thing, but doesn’t work at every level. Other bad guys like cognitive distortions, pessimism, helplessness, overgeneralization, blaming, and emotional reasoning may be deep rooted and need a more intensive approach.
A lot of people tolerate these bad guys and let dreams be killed, stolen, and destroyed. The battle can be won. Changes can be made for the best and I know a guy that can help you with that (that would be me)!
An overall and simple strategy is breaking things into smaller components. Use The 5 Second Rule to tackle each of the bad guys on as basic a scale as necessary to take action: 5-4-3-2-1 get out of bed, 5-4-3-2-1 do push-ups, etc. The objective is to get started and keep moving as opposed to feeling like it or analyzing too much.
Answering the 5 questions is approaching things on a broader scale to formulate a plan.
The question, “Where are you?” defines the current basics of life. Nothing but the facts on health, relationship status, in debt, etc.
Where are you going and why? Now that the facts are identified, what needs to be done to take action and achieve desired outcomes?
Who are you? How personal time, treasure, and talent is being used identifies what the priorities are in life.
What are you doing that matters? A transcendent cause that involves helping others lays a foundation for a fulfilled and meaningful life.
When do you begin? 5-4-3-2-1 now is the time, but rarely is this a huge change.
Lasting change is a step-by-step process. Look at it as using a bunch of 5 Second Rules to make the changes necessary to fulfill the plan established by answering the 5 questions. Get from where you are to where you want to be! You can do this!
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