Millions of students attend and graduate college each year.
Hopefully the years are full of new experiences, new people, and prospects of getting a wonderful job with high pay.
But sorting through all that, what is most meaningful?
Take a look at 3 mindsets.
Mindset #1: Fun
Are current or future get-togethers reminiscent of shenanigans, parties, or absent minded professors?
Lots of fun conversations and memories, but ultimately lacking real meaningful experiences.
Mindset #2: It’s all (or mostly) about the person.
Things that are being done or accomplished are meaningful, but mainly to the person. Nothing is wrong with wholesome accomplishments, but some of the most accomplished people in the world are miserable and think another achievement will bring fulfillment. Rarely, if ever, is this the case.
Excelling academically, fostering close friendships, staying completely or mostly debt free are good things, but is there more?
Mindset #3: What is meaningful?
Some examples of leveraging experiences and education to be more meaningful is a group of guys getting their PhDs:
One became a university president with the intent of leading students to change the world.
Another heads an organization that has mastered the art of teaching leadership through story and music to reach the billions of people that are illiterate in this world.
Another led an organization that was battling human trafficking in Cambodia.
Graduating at the top of the class is meaningful, but using a particular field of study to benefit humanity changes the world.
Close friendships are good, but get closer serving side-by-side in a transcendent cause.
Graduating debt free is awesome, but leveraged with an idea to start a business helping the poor and fighting human trafficking is better.
A great example is Tom’s shoes founder Blake Mycoskie was serving in a third world country and saw so many kids without shoes. Blake decided to do something about it and started a company that gave away one pair of shoes for every pair sold. The effort to help the poor turned into a multi-million dollar company.
With these examples in mind, what does it take to begin getting involved in things that matter?
The time to start is now! Go serve dinner to the homeless at a shelter. Become a big brother / sister to an orphan or troubled kid. Tutor a struggling student. Help the old lady whose yard needs cleaned up. Thank the person cleaning the bathroom at a convenience stop gas station for doing such a good job.
Develop a spirit of serving and gratitude and you will never be the same!
Living to the fullest is not about a guilt trip, but the trip of a meaningful life!
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Getting an unidentified phone call the immediate question posed is “Who are you?” When the caller sounds like a scam artist the likely response is to hang up immediately.
Why is it then that when another scam artist, the negative self-talk call in people’s minds takes place, the encounter is either entertained or excused as powerless to do anything about it?
Many students’ negative self-talk calls are crippling when comparisons with others are made, derogatory comments are fretted over, and perfectionism dominates thinking. Being fooled into a helplessness mentality or being deceived by accepting distorted ideas about capabilities doesn’t have to be the case!
Being smart about higher education and life are related. Students are far more capable than they think and can face and overcome the tough personal battles needed to become the person they were destined to be.
There are three basic ways to get started with the process of trying to understand who you are:
Time tracking The normal tendency is to grossly underestimate or have no clear recall of time spent during the day. Higher education requires wisdom, beware of not only TV, but all screen time that is useless and erodes academic performance and rich experiences. Ask yourself, “What else is a waste of my time?”
Talents used “Yea, but I don’t know what my talents are!” Get help discovering talents by getting feedback from family and friends. Avid readers need to consider being a writer for the school newspaper. Take photos for the yearbook. Churches are always looking for musicians and singers. Enjoyment coaching little kids may build foundational skills that lead to mentoring executives.
Treasure disbursed Follow the money is a rule to find out who you are. College students going into debt are hoping that the investment into higher education reaps a great return on investment. A number of alternatives exist that can help reduce or eliminate debt.
Character development and discovering who you are is a life long process.
The bottom line is life always involves time, talent, and treasure. Keep it simple, actions speak louder than words, scholarly journals, psycho-analysts, or Dr. Phil.
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Where are you going in life and in the pursuit of higher education and why?
Twentieth century writer Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
What is it that enables some people to get through tough circumstances while others breakdown?
Two different aspects of the word why.
Mark Twain used why in the context of a person’s existence.
In contrast, repeatedly asking why an unexplainable tragedy occurs, a person emotionally ends up going nowhere.
The brain tries to answer all the questions asked of it. Asking the brain to answer the unanswerable is comparable to a computer crashing and it goes into what’s known as a freeze.
Sustained freezing of the brain is harmful.
When a computer crashes, all that’s necessary is to reboot. Restoration of the human psyche is not that simple.
Sudden or prolonged seemingly unresolvable trauma coupled with unanswerable questions can bring about serious emotional issues like PTSD.
Another outcome with those same traumatic experiences is the less publicized PTG (post-traumatic growth) that has the opposite effect. Instead of the traumatic experience resulting in a disorder, the person has an emotional fortification that serves to help in future challenges.
Whether one develops PTSD or PTG is not a judgment of character since everyone has a breaking point, but a person can develop skills and focus on an attitude that hinders PTSD and promotes PTG.
Nietzsche stated, “He who has a why to live can deal with almost any how.” Viktor Frankl observed this concept personally in Nazi prison camps where people underwent horrific conditions. Many died, no one thrived, but a number survived by focusing on a desirable somewhere which in most cases was home with family.
Having a meaningful why in the pursuit of higher education is smart. Knowing why higher education is advantageous leads to a more enriched experience because it makes sense.
Knowing why a particular university and major are chosen enables the student to work through the most difficult challenges of academia and the accompanying circumstances – homesickness, peer pressure, and character building.
In contrast, without a clear vision and purpose, students can feel like Sisyphus, the Greek character who continuously rolled a stone up the same hill only for it to roll back down to the same place to do all over again.
The frustration of Sisyphus going nowhere does not need to prevail for those in academia. Mark Twain’s reference to that most important day of finding out why we’re born is within the grasp of students. The higher education experience can be fun and fulfilling, but it requires being smart about it.
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In order to identify what is significant in life it is necessary to know where the starting point is.
Planning is not popular and takes time, but does make a difference long-term.
Self-deception
Get to the core of the issue.
Some claim if they stop smoking they’ll gain weight. They are avoiding the real issue. They smoke to fill an emotional need in life. If they do not put something good in place of that void when they quit smoking, they’ll just create another problem – overeating.
Not good at names? Quit predicting that! There are numerous ways to get better at names – say it ASAP after hearing it, associate it with someone you know, spell it out to verify, to name a few.
After starting college I’ll pick a major. At 40-50K/ year that’s very expensive time to be figuring out as you go.
Eliminating self-deception. Do this with a violent determination!
Describing things accurately.
Stop negative self-talk
“Never good enough…” “Who am I …”
NOT “I’m stupid,” but rather, “I did poorly on one test.”
Words are powerful, be deliberate about speaking what is true
Make it honest and positive!
Where are you self-assessment P – E – R – M – S – F
Physical – weight, blood pressure, health, etc.
Emotional
Three positive things
Categorize day – sad, indifferent, happy
Good, bad, draining, less than I want, etc.
Relational – close friends (fb NA), dating, married, get along with parents?
Mental or intellectual – grades, academic enjoyment, lifelong learner?
Spiritual, worldview. What is meaningful to you? Do you have a purpose? Are you making a difference in the world?
Financial – where you spend money is what is important to you.
Summary: To make sure you get started, KEEP IT SIMPLE? You will get better at this, but you must get started. This is an overall self-assessment w/o getting too compicated.
Keep answers simple
Beginning a process of honest self-evaluation.
Journey to a better life
Before, during, after higher education
Shifts thinking
Dream big. Les brown says, “Live full, die empty.”
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VIDEO Highlights of the May 5th, 2013 Pittsburgh Marathon with inspiring interviews of people maximizing meaning in their lives by setting goals they never thought they could achieve. The young, the seasoned, men and women, all aspire to live with purpose by taking on a challenge that was previously only a far-fetched idea. How did those dreams become a reality? They took a chance, despite health issues, personal doubt, fears, and lack of confidence. Dan Mularski is featured giving a commentary at incremental sections of the course. What is your “marathon” in life that challenges you to maximize meaning and live life to the fullest?
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